Monday, October 22, 2007

Alf - 10/21/2007 - Mexico City taxi cabs

Mexico City taxi cabs... Oh boy. Well, for starters there's many different kinds of taxis. There are those of the pimp my ride quality which are easily recognized by the bright psychedelic lights emanating from the interior, the driver's massive 6G harness strapping him down to the seat, the 8 speaker stereo system with the low rider bass in the trunk that can be heard within 4 city blocks, and the feeling of "man this guy must be very late for something which means I will very soon die splattered against the median".

On the other side of the spectrum one can board the old-school green VW Beetle cabs, although not as fast, they too provide their own exciting sense of danger. For starters these come equipped, or shall I say unequipped, with a large vacuum that once contained a passenger-side front seat. This makes boarding the tiny vessel a cinch, except when your party consists of more than 1 person who is not a midget. Once seated one can also see that there are small appendages in the back-seat that once must have been the docking ports for seat belts. Upon inquiring why these were modified in such a manner the kindly driver will reply that due to popular demand and for the passenger's comfort all signs of seat-belts were removed. One can only picture a front side collision resulting in the passenger flying through the vacuum of the front-seat and careening through the windshield, although fortunately his bottom is nice and comfortable. After arriving at one's destination and paying the man for his services he will lift the front passenger-side mat and look for change, and once having exited the cab, the driver will pull the door shut with a little rope that he keeps tied next to his stick-shift. There are also the termed "illegal" cabs, which consists of the two previous kinds of cabs but these poor guys do not have the proper permit. How to identify them, well, it seems their tag numbers are different although this is unrecognizable to anyone not working at the motor registration authority and also, sometimes their paint job is a little rundown even though all taxis here have bad paint jobs! But, of course, every single taxi cab driver will comment to you, the gullible newcomer to the city, to be wary of those illegal cabs, they are all over the place and those rat bastards are not safe.

Moving on, we have the "executive" taxi services. These usually come at double the fare and therefore cater exclusively to citizens of high standing. How does one become an "executive" taxi driver? Well, one simply purchases a 2 to 3 year old mid-size car and then one drives around and offers people a lift. According to my paranoid relatives these guys are by far safer to ride in than the run of the mill taxi cabs... hmm, dubious.

Despite the limitations in the variety of taxis in Mexico City one will always learn something new when braving this transportation service. It seems that the taxi driver guild, "chafirete" in Mexican Spanish, consists entirely of incredibly wise and noble men who have PhD's in everything and will never doubt in giving their opinion on whatever the small chit chat entertained and forced by them will stumble upon. Thus, one will always hear about how dangerous things are in Mexico City, how the government is ruining everything, how the youth of today is not what it used to be, and how crappy the weather has been lately.

Despite all this, or perhaps due to it, I really enjoy taking cabs everywhere. They are extremely cheap, ubiquitous, and their lack of uniformity always makes it an adventure.

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